Even Greener Pastures

Dear Guests,
We would like to remind you that according to Russian Federation Law smoking is strictly forbidden in all private rooms as well as the public places of the hotel.
The hotel is equipped with fire alarms and smoke detectors which will react to any fumes.
The compensation fee for cleaning and the false alarm sent to the local fire brigade is 10,000 RUB for each occurrence.
Thank you for understanding


you might want to tighten the once sentence:
The fee for cleaning and the fine for the false alarm sent to the local fire brigade is 10,000 RUB for each occurrence.  This fee will be charged to your bill, with NO exceptions.

Looks fine :-)

Dear Guests,
We would like to remind you that according to Russian Federation Law smoking is strictly forbidden in all private rooms as well as the public places of the hotel.
This hotel is equipped with fire alarms and smoke detectors which will react to any fumes.
The fee for cleaning and the fine for the false alarm sent to the local fire brigade is 10,000 RUB for each occurrence.  This fee will be charged to your bill, with NO exceptions.
Thank you for understanding

I’ve just thought that I need “a” before fire alarm and it should be in a single form, right? ( I wrote in plural).
Thank you

In English fire alarm is vague in its meaning.  Your hotel might sound under equipped if you left it singular.

How about:
This hotel is equipped with a state of the art fire alarm system including smoke detectors which will react to any fumes

You can only say that if it truly is an excellent system.  What do you think?

Oh, I see. I couldn’t think so. I mean a singular form of “ fire alarm” might mean under equipped. Should I add “ the” then please? Thank you

Neal,

Blonde could give the guests in the hotel a fire drill like this,

I love it when he’s giving his fire drill explanation and he rings the bell to show the fireball is a semi-tone higher than the theft alarm, and the two old ladies start to walk out and he yells, “Where are you going?! Get back! Would you just listen to it you old fool!”

A classic.

That’s a great one too Neal. That’s when poor Fawlty had his head injury. And he tells Polly, as the women are all crying, “Don`t mention the war. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.” And he goes on to tell the Germans when they complain, “You have no sense of humor, do you?” And at the end the doctor from the hospital and the male nurses are chasing him through the hotel trying to throw a net over him.

On a serious note, I looked at an interview with John Cleese last night and he said it took something like 9 weeks to write the script for just one episode, which was incredibly long for a 30 minute show. It would normally take no more than 2 weeks ordinarily. That’s because he really wanted to get every line down right, that was after they had the basic story line decided.

This is one of my favorite scenes and a great example to be careful having kids. You might end up with one like the kid here: