Even Greener Pastures

I saw an ad for a pizza at a local joint. They call it the Ballsagna. The other day we had a discussion about how to pronounce 'bologna.' I wonder how I should pronounce Ballsagna when I call to order one. Should I say it something like we Americans pronounce bologna; balls ohn ee, or as the prescriptionists; balls ohn ah. The tag line for the pizza is: This pie’s got balls… meatballs, that is.
Or should I skip it and go for something more traditional such a pepperoni? And please don't suggest pineapple. That's just unnatural.

Isn’t it sad when something as important as eating becomes so complicated?

How do you order when you want more than one cappuccino?
“Two cappuccini”? and sound arrogant or murder some grammar?
What about ordering ONE “panini”?

On pronunciation, a part of me always feels bad when I want a latte and have to say “latey”

I also mispronounce “crème brûlée” in order to... well, eat.

When I drank coffee at Starbucks I felt especially silly ordering a solo espresso or a doppio. I won't eat at Burger King since they want me to say I'd like a Whopper.   

"I also mispronounce “crème brûlée” in order to... well, eat." Don't feel bad. I can't say croissant for the life of me. I suppose that I could get close but I prefer not to sound like a pretentious snob trying to pronounce something in a language that I don't speak. It's pretentious overload when an American tries to sound like a French speaker when they aren't. That may sound odd to some of you. But that's the way it is.