Even Greener Pastures

It really is ok to note that she is of "mixed race", the words are fine.  Sofia, both of your sentences are perfectly fine ways of expressing information without being offensive.  The conversation itself is what might put people on edge.

In a very real way I just want the rules about how to address people, I am not interested in offending their choices.  Irena I agree the situation was very odd, maybe the woman was crazy but my son came in rather frustrated by the encounter.  He is the kind of person who doesn't mind getting 'in your face' if he thinks you are being stupid.  He didn't like being made to feel he was insensitive.  Can you imagine if it was a transition?  I cant keep a scorecard on sexual choices/changes just to have a polite conversation.

I had a customer call in once looking for information on their order.  Male voice, looking for order for Frank Smith, order under the name of Carol Smith.  "Oh is Carol your wife's name?".  We get a lot of wives buying things for their husbands.  "Oh no, that is me, I am in transition".

He (I am being insensitive calling him 'he'?)was nice about it, but it is all getting too complicated for me.